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Pathetic DNC Autopsy Would Have Been Better If AI Wrote It – The Friday AM Quickie 5/22/26

By Corey Pein —

"He'd like me to go... I’m going to try and make it," Donald Trump says of his son Don Jr.'s latest wedding this weekend to Palm Beach socialite Bettina Anderson, whom Trump calls "a very – a person who I’ve known for a long time." Alas, "I said, 'You know, this is not good timing for me.'" Any bets on whether the elder Trump will be photographed golfing this weekend? I'm off, Whitney's back Monday. - Corey

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THE BIG NEWS

The Scandal Isn't What's in the DNC Autopsy, It's What Isn't – and Why We're Even Still Talking About It

Although the political winds may favor Democrats in the November midterm elections, the internal party mechanics are not so favorable. The latest Democratic National Committee financial report, released Wednesday, shows the organization has $3 million more in debts than cash on hand – while the Republican National Committee has $124 million in cash with no debts.

The blame for this sorry situation lies in large part with centrist DNC chair Ken Martin, whose leadership priority seems to have been undermining progressives like former DNC member David Hogg who've been pushing the party to take a more aggressive posture toward the Trump regime.

Martin has also been taking heat for his decision to keep under wraps an autopsy report on what led to the party's failure in the 2024 presidential election. Under pressure, Martin finally released that report, ostensibly written for free by a friend, consultant Paul Rivera, to CNN yesterday. Despite ostensibly not endorsing the report, Martin freely offers his opinions on what Democrats need to do going forward, writing, "We can't just be anti-Trump."

The report is a sad joke – worse even than many expected. "For example," the Associated Press reports, "it doesn't address President Joe Biden's decision to run for a second term at 81, despite widespread concerns about his age." It also doesn't mention the Gaza genocide and the devastating decision by Biden and successor candidate Kamala Harris to blindly back Israel.

"Democracy is a very old institution," Rivera writes in the report's introduction, as if for a high school term paper, "and yet what keeps democracy going is the ability of those who seek to lead to look at the data and determine the source of success as well as setbacks." And yet the report contains almost no data.

"The substance of the autopsy is almost irrelevant. But we couldn't even produce a standard-fare document around our own election loss," complains Democratic pollster Evan Roth Smith to HuffPost.

"I hope we can find the money for an autopsy of the rollout of the autopsy," quips New York Democratic operative Alyssa Cass to the Washington Post.

"This is an unmitigated shitshow," party strategist Steve Schale tells NBC News.

Strategist Dan Pfeiffer, formerly a top adviser to President Barack Obama, says Martin "must go." But Martin is so far ignoring the growing demands that he resign. "It's time for us to move forward at the DNC, and I hope that you’ll move forward with me," he told staff in a call yesterday. Sure: forward through the door marked EXIT.

Trump Slush Fund Is Too Much for Senate Republicans

Senate Republicans yesterday dropped their plans to guarantee funding for Donald Trump's evil mass deportation campaign after Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche failed to soothe their concerns about the regime's $1.8 billion slush fund meant to funnel tax dollars to friends of Trump, including Jan. 6 insurrectionists – and possibly line the pockets of Trump and Blanche themselves. "They questioned its legal basis, whom it would pay and how the process would work," the New York Times reports. "By the end, Republicans were so livid that party leaders scrapped planned votes on the party's top priority — a $72 billion immigration crackdown measure it had planned to muscle through before Memorial Day — punting action for fear of having to cast votes on the fund." Elle. Oh. Elle.

Democrats are already making hay over the slush fund. The Washington Post reports that House Democrats will launch an investigation of "where every dollar has gone" assuming they take control of the chamber after November's general election. "They have just gone way too far this time," Maryland Rep. Jamie Raskin says. "The public is not going to put up with it."

House GOP Cancels Vote on Ending Iran War

House Democrats tried for a fourth time yesterday to pass a war powers resolution ending Donald Trump's illegal and costly war on Iran and bringing US troops home. But House Speaker Mike Johnson canceled the scheduled vote without explanation, preventing further action until Congress returns in June from its long Memorial Day holiday. "They probably did it because they didn't have the votes," Pennsylvania Republican Rep. Brian Fitzpatrick, who has voted with Democrats on the war powers resolutions, tells the New York Times. "The next time they bring it, it's passing."

According to the Associated Press, Maine Rep. Jared Golden, the only Democrat to vote in favor of the war last week, will vote against it next time around. Johnson and Trump are bleeding votes from their own party as well. "People are beginning to finally listen to the American people who don't support the war in Iran, and I think there's a growing number of Republicans who see how devastating the war has been for our country," Democratic Rep. Adam Smith of Washington State says.

QUICKEST QUICKIES

  • Israel Deports Hundreds of Gaza Aid Flotilla Activists Who Were Abused in Custody "They kicked me in the legs and punched me in the face. These are people who know what ​they are doing, so I don't have any major visible marks," Italian journalist Alessandro Mantovani says. "They would beat you up and would tell you 'Welcome to Israel.'" via the Guardian, NBC News, and the Associated Press.
  • Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg Convinced Trump to Cancel Regulatory Order on AI at the Last Minute Loathsome venture capitalist and former regime "crypto czar" David Sacks also warned Trump that planned voluntary government reviews of new AI tech "could slow down innovation and make the US lose the AI race to China." via the Washington Post and the AP.
  • Jeffrey Epstein's Former Assistant Gives Three New Names of Accomplices to House Oversight Committee "He groomed me, sexually and psychologically abused me, controlled me, manipulated me, dominated me, and gaslit me until I could no longer tell which thoughts were mine and which were his," Sarah Kellen told Congress. "I was reminded every day how powerful he was – how influential he was – and that to turn on him or disobey him would mean losing everything: my job, my home, everyone I knew in the world, even my life." via the Guardian and Politico.
  • 'How Dare They?': Cubans Defiant in the Face of Latest Threats from Trump Regime "The indictment [of former President Raúl Castro] plays well into the narrative of someone who never stopped fighting," former Cuban intelligence analyst Arturo Lopez-Levy says. "They'll make him a martyr... someone fighting and dying in his boots." via the New York Times, the Guardian, and the Associated Press.

SOME NUMBER

5,000

That's how many US troops Donald Trump says will be deployed to Poland, one week after the Pentagon said it would cancel the deployment of 4,000 troops there. The Polish government was caught by surprise by last week's Pentagon announcement, just as the Pentagon was caught by surprise by Trump's announcement reversing the policy yesterday. "These are not well thought out decisions," retired career diplomat Ian Kelly tells the Associated Press. "These are impulsive decisions based on Trump's whims or what his advisors think are Trump's whims."

ON THE SHOW TODAY

5/22: Sam and Emma will be in studio. The guests will be David Weigel, journalist covering politics at Semafor; and Dr. MarkAlain Dery, infectious disease expert and chief innovation officer and medical director for infectious diseases at Access Health Louisiana.

DON'T MISS MR CLIPS‌

Joe Rogan's Anti-Human Fantasy Session with Techno-Villain Billionaire Marc Andreessen

With such exciting and sympathetic guests, it's a wonder how Rogan got such a big audience.

TRUMP SAID TOO MUCH...

I really don't know what to make of this.

PARTING WORDS

"A lot of people been asking me what I plan to do after tonight, and the answer is drugs."

-- CBS "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert, in his final monologue last night after Donald Trump's oligarch buddies bought his network and forced his cancellation. Colbert performed with Beatles superstar Paul McCartney. For his next act, Colbert will be writing a new "Lord of the Rings" movie for director Peter Jackson.

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