Nazi-saluting oligarch Elon Musk has reportedly returned to his ancestral trade: robbing Africans. What's old is new again! I'm off, Whitney's back Monday. - Corey

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THE BIG NEWS

Trump on Groceries: What a Concept

For at least the third time in seven months, the dotard Donald Trump went on a bizarre ramble about the word "groceries," a daily fact of life for hundreds of millions of Americans that he, as a gold-plated real estate scion, has apparently never had direct exposure to at any point in his uniquely privileged life. This is a man who has enjoyed a bespoke personal McDonald's restaurant-on-wheels as he travels from one luxury venue to another on his crooked Gulf tour as America's arms dealer-in-chief.

Sitting down yesterday with United Arab Emirates President Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Trump said the following:

"Because to me, the most important jobs, I want jobs. And uh, we have, uh. Costs are way down. Groceries are way – they have a term, groceries, it's an old term, but it means basically, what you are buying in food. It's a pretty accurate term, but it's an old-fashioned sound. But groceries are down, costs are down, eggs are down, they were. The first week they were hitting me with 'eggs were up 200 percent,' and now they're down to a number that is amazing – down 97, 98 percent from where they were. And, uh, everybody, they said 'you won't have eggs for Easter.' Well, everybody had eggs for Easter at a very reasonable price. At the White House we had our little Easter egg roll, and we had hundreds of thousands of eggs purchased. They said 'you have to go out an buy plastic eggs.' That didn't work out. So we've done a real job, and our energy costs are way down. The energy is way down, gasoline is way down. And we have almost no inflation. So we've got the economy back."

The economy is not back. Far from it. The United Nations yesterday forecast declining economic growth due to Trump's global trade war. Groceries are not down. The opposite. Walmart warned in an investor call yesterday that it would be raising prices soon – and not just on "cheap Chinese toys," as the White House claims, but on staples like vegetables, fruits, and other basic necessities. Other major brands are bearing the same bad news. "If Walmart is doing it, everybody else is probably going to be doing it — if not already, they will be in the future," UBS economist Alan Detmeister tells the Wall Street Journal.

He's done a real job, alright. The realities of American life couldn't be farther from the gilded palaces of ruthless billionaires that Trump inhabits. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy, what do you call it, soup for my family.

MORE STORIES TO WATCH

New Jersey Transit Workers Go on Strike

The Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers and Trainmen, which represents New Jersey Transit engineers, led a walkout at midnight that shut down rail service across the state, with ripple effects across transit systems in the tri-state area. According to the New York Times, it's the first such strike since 1983. "NJ Transit has a half-billion dollars for a swanky new headquarters and $53 million for decorating the interior of that unnecessary building," BLET National President Mark Wallace said last night, per Politico. "They gave away $20 million in revenue during a fare holiday last year. They have money for penthouse views and pet projects, just not for their front-line workers. Enough is enough. We will stay out until our members receive the fair pay that they deserve." Replacement buses won't be running until Monday. Meanwhile, more than 2,000 baristas at 120 Starbucks stores across the US have joined a strike by Starbucks Workers United to protest the company's new dress code, which restricts what can be worn under the green apron uniform.

Paranoid Regime Officials Investigate Former FBI Director James Comey Over Imagined Threat to Trump

Former FBI Director James Comey investigated Donald Trump's ties to Russia throughout the 2016 election, only to be fired by Trump during his first term. Comey has since reinvented himself as a writer of crime fiction. This week he went for a walk on the beach. He subsequently posted a photo to Instagram of a "cool shell formation" he found where someone had arranged the seashells to read "86 47." As every bartender knows, to "86" someone means to throw them out; 47 was obviously a reference to Trump. But to the paranoid loons of MAGAland, Comey's post was a coded call to assassination. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem announced that her agency and the Secret Service are "investigating this threat." Current FBI Director Kash Patel said he will "provide all necessary support." Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard told Fox News that Comey should be "put behind bars for this." Comey took the post down, saying the suggestion of violence never occurred to him. Meanwhile, Patel disbanded the FBI's public corruption unit, which also investigated Trump, who is doubtless pleased by all of this over-the-top concern for his well-being he's seeing on television.

QUICKEST QUICKIES

• Israeli Strikes Kill 143 Palestinians on 77th Anniversary of the Nakba On his Gulf tour, which skips Israel, Trump repeated his vow to transform Gaza into a "freedom zone," prompting Hamas to respond that Palestinian land "is not real estate for sale on the open market." via the Guardian, Al Jazeera and Drop Site News.
• Supreme Court Justices Reportedly 'Skeptical' of Unconstitutional Trump Plan to End Birthright Citizenship Guarantee "This is about saying you are locked out of participating in our representative government, making people a permanent underclass, and then they are locked out of most fundamental democratic protections including the right to vote, rendering them to the margins of society," says Anna Baldwin of the Campaign Legal Center. via the AP and HuffPost.
• Voice of America Journalist in Azerbaijan Arrested and Tortured After Losing US Network's Protection The Trump regime yesterday fired another nearly 600 VoA workers, mostly journalists, and many "from countries with repressive governments that persecute journalists for independent reporting." via the Washington Post and the New York Times.
• Slovenian Cops Investigate Mysterious Disappearance of Melania Trump Statue The missing bronze statue, sawn off at the ankles, replaced a previously installed wooden one that was destroyed by arson. via the Guardian.

SOME NUMBER

$3.8 trillion

That's how much the Republican budget bill under construction in the House would cut taxes over the next decade, according to the Washington Post, adding $2.5 trillion to the federal deficit despite the party's disingenuous preaching about "fiscal responsibility." Most of the tax breaks, such as the $30 million estate tax exemption and the uncapped SALT tax deduction, would accrue to the wealthy. A proposed child tax credit boost also comes with strings attached.

ON THE SHOW TODAY

5/16: Happy Friday! The guest will be Jeet Heer from The Nation to wrap up the week's news.

DON'T MISS MR CLIPS‌

NYU Withholds Diploma After Student Speaks Out Against 'Genocide in Gaza'

Contrary to what some people claim, you can learn a lot about how the world really works in college.

Trump Coalition Cracks Over Qatar's $400 Million 'Gift'

If only the foreign oligarchs would "donate" a functional air traffic control system!

PARTING WORDS

"In my home, the America I love, the America I've written about, that has been a beacon of hope and liberty for 250 years, is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent and treasonous administration. ...
"There's some very weird, strange and dangerous shit going on out there right now. In America, they are persecuting people for using their right to free speech and voicing their dissent. This is happening now. 
"In America, the richest men are taking satisfaction in abandoning the world's poorest children to sickness and death. This is happening now.
"In my country, they're taking sadistic pleasure in the pain they inflict on loyal American workers. 
"They're rolling back historic civil rights legislation that has led to a more just and plural society.
"They are abandoning our great allies and siding with dictators against those struggling for their freedom. They are defunding American universities that won't bow down to their ideological demands.
"They are removing residents off American streets and, without due process of law, are deporting them to foreign detention centers and prisons. This is all happening now. 
"A majority of our elected representatives have failed to protect the American people from the abuses of an unfit president and a rogue government. They have no concern or idea for what it means to be deeply American."

-- New Jersey man Bruce Springsteen, denouncing the Trump regime onstage in Manchester, UK on Wednesday, as reported by the New York Times, as well as recorded and transcribed on his official website.

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